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本帖最后由 KK07 于 2009-5-9 00:30 编辑
That day he was wandering around the crowded street, pulling his exhausted body to the white tolly church. Last night clearly he remembered that his ex-wife, who died of phthisis, told him the secret she bad been keeping all her life. It was not his hobby to frequent the church. The common living in this remote small town spent half their lives in that place, and his wife was not an exception.
Her plump body seemed a little clumsy in his dream and when she opened her mouth, her words seemed fainting away. That poor woman, ever since their marriage, she had not seen a day pass without needles pain stinging in her fingers. While his life had never been changed a bit after this gloomy marriage, teran and snooker have engulfed all his energy and never did he enjoy less from that. Not until his wife’s eyes died out right under his nose did he come to realize her grief packed in that dim and humid room. Her body had been laid on the only bed in the small room for two days while he rummaged the whole room for enough money for the funeral.
For those two days, memory of that woman began to occupy his mind. Never felt any regretful or sorry for losing anything all his life, for simply he had nothing to lose. But this woman, the first women in his life, left nothing but several unfinished greasy dished in the basin. She died washing dishes. She died of overwork. The dim room was again hovered by deadly quietness and chillness. Half-empty bottles teran, still dropping over the edge of the table, with its balmy fizz smell pervaded this little place.
He could not figure out what she had been hiding form him. He was not asking much either, except one time in the middle of the night he grunted for teran even he had been as drunk as a load. The church was near at hand and one step took him right into that hymn. What they sang concerned him the least, but the discreetness on everyone’s eyes almost suffocate him to dead. He never believed in god or anything, for there was no luck befallen on him. God was nothing but ridiculous illusions.
The secret was no where to be found and he was frustrated. The chanting church did not kept him longer than ten minutes. Returning home was his only priority. He rummaged all her belongings but no trace was found leading to her so-called secret. There must be something that left by her, even though no words had been mentioned about that. No neighbors had casted any interest on that, his wife made few friends in that neighborhood, mainly destined by her husband’s bad reputation.
Then that was an ordinary night, the moon did not hide herself while the dead calmness filled room took on a unknown look. The moment he screwed the door open, the quiet moonlight sparked on his face. Returning from the church, he seemed to be hunted by those repeated hymns. The odd might not lie in the church but in the road to that place. The moonlight carried her pale face and breath, meeting his face with intermittent pain.
You found anything on you way to the church? Actually I found nothing. Should you have words for me please give me a hint.
Nothing. Nothing that I left for you neither should there be anything after my leaving. Do not feel irritated when nothing comes out in the end. There wasn’t always an answer. If there was a secret from me, that was the Secret. Open your heart and see the world. Marriage was not a way to escape, but a way leading to your ending. You cherished anything in the past; you assimilated them and became one. You were not a good husband but I did not ever complain. That day you yelled at me for teran in the night, there were tears in your eyes. Your trauma never deceived me once but yourself. Unluckily enough, you were a bad actor neither. I loved you, though there was no need for you to know.
The pale light leaked from the ceiling vanished in a second. He came to himself. His head ached, drunk, probably, he thought.
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发表于 2009-5-9 00:28:38
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不能说的秘密怎么还是说了
发表于 2009-5-9 10:11:46
楼主
这次居然是长故事！！！不看了~
我讨厌阅读理解……